I wanted a baby.As I lay in Doug?s arms, writhing and singing and moaning in utter delight, my mind spun fantasies for me. Doug?s child grew within me, a beautiful baby girl. I was an agent and I knew I?d never be able to marry Doug, but his child would be enough. She would grow inside of me and I would truly be a woman. I would become a mother, and hold my child, and rock her, and nurse her. I would give her all the love that I?d never be able to share with Doug. I felt so devastatingly empty right now, but soon, in a couple of days, I would be ready. Doug would fill me, and I would be complete. And this strange period which had seemed like such a curse would actually be the greatest blessing of all, because it meant that for a precious few days I would be truly fertile. I could get pregnant. I *would* get pregnant. And the agency would surely see this as an act of God, or a side-effect of hazardous duty, or some such thing. And they would *have* to give me maternity. On a long weekend Friday like this most of the other executives do not even bother coming into the office. But a guy like me doesn't make it to this floor by the age of 38 without an internal drive system.I have long been motivated for two things in my life, my success within business to which I have very comfortably made a few steps up the corporate ladder. Growing up in a less than privileged single parent household, and while my mother worked hard as a nurse, there was never quite enough for everything. I vowed to my mom then that I would retires her by the time I was 40. To which I can proudly state that my mom is living comfortably in Playacar Mexico.The other is in regards to my health. While I may dress like an everyday exec, underneath even the God Adonis would be jealous. Since shortly after being humiliated during football tryouts for being too scrawny, I vowed to never have that happen again. Over the years I have allowed some of the mass to fade but my tone and shape is.
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